DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens, be they black or white or brown red or speckled, will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

REV. FRED NILE
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it the "other side." Yes, my friends,that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. It is the will of Jesus and the Lord that we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and violence by counter-revolutionary terrorists and we were forced to defend ourselves from the menace of the chicken by dropping 500 tons of nerve gas on it.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it's true?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother?

BILL GATES
The chicken has been bought by the MSN network, and we have just released Chicken XP, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg format), file your important documents, and balance your cheque book. Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of Chicken XP.

THE CIA
Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car, sir.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define the word "chicken"?