Big label on a lawnmower which read: "WARNING WHEN MOTOR IS RUNNING- THE BLADE IS TURNING!"

Bought a frozen pizza from the store and turned it upside down for cooking instructions, the first instruction was DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN!

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice…

Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: "Do not open here."

Can of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face."

Bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.

Container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable!

Bottle of hand lotion: Warning: Starts healing skin on contact.

Box of household nails: CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!

Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it. Direction #1 is Remove plastic.

Commercial that says it cleans dentures 4 times better. Below in small print it said "Lab test: (their product) vs. water.

Commercial said they their denture paste was better than any other. BELOW IT, it said in small letters, vs. using no adhesive.

On a full-face motorcycle helmet with a giant arrow pointing to the front. Some idiot must have put the helmet on backwards, and hurt himself. This is to protect to manufacturer from future lawsuits.

One day I went to a wall-mart out of state and I went to buy a blow dryer when I read the warnings it said "DO NOT BLOW DRY IN SLEEP"

Seen on the back of a drink bottle label: "Do not peel label off."

Band-Aid box: "For serious injuries, seek medical attention."

Can of powdered infant formula: "Mix with water before serving." Like I'm going to spoon it to my baby dry!

Can of Woolite carpet cleaner: "Safe for carpets, too!"

BOTTOM of a box of glass ornaments: "Do not turn upside down."

Frosted Cheerio's, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."

Plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate."

Ad for some type of contest on a candy bar. The wrapper said "No purchase necessary - Details Inside."

Directions for eating Lunchables Nachos: Dip chips in cheese and salsa.

The golf carts on the course I worked at have warning labels saying, "Not for highway use."

On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric) "Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets."

While working at a large medical center in the Midwest, a construction worker was admitted with a large hammer sticking out of his head. Seems he was in an altercation with another gentleman. On the side of the hammer were the words, 'Use protective eyewear.'

On the back of the Pilots seat on NATO AWAC Aircraft (E-3A), is a sign that states: "Seat must be facing forward for take off and landing."

I came upon a bottle of children's cough medicine stating "Caution: May cause drowsiness; do not drive or operate heavy machinery"

Seen on a container of salt:   Warning: High in sodium

Some Computer instructions: Visit our site for further instructions. http://www.pc.com/pc/instructions.htm

On a hose nozzle there was a warning that said: "Do not spray into electrical outlet."

Industrial size washer in local laundromat: (Large lettered sign) "Warning: Do not put any person in this washer."

A stroller with the warning, "Remove child before folding."

A car ad depicting cars driving in the water with fins like sharks. At the end of the ad in small letters it read: "Caution, do not drive underwater"

Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

Bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

Bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)

Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)

Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.

American Airlines nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

Child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! destroy a universal childhood belief.)


If you have any more additions, send them to me.